Letters to Olympus
by extremist
Summary: Our not-soo-dear-gods have agreed to answer the letters of us puny mortals and demigods. They have promised not to blast anyone. (I hope they stick to their promise, through) Ask anything you want from which ever god you want. But do it on your own risk. Don't complain to me if you are turned into a lug or something.
1. Chapter 1

**Sup! It's been really long since I wrote last time. I know it's a old and used idea but gotta admit it's a cool thing.**

 **so basically let me know what you wanna ask from our not-soo-dear-gods. Complain, curse or ask anything you want but I personally would like to curse them for making my Percy's life hard.**

 **Damn them!**

 _ ***lightning***_

 _Our not-soo-dear-gods have agreed to answer the letters of us puny mortals and demigods. They have promised not to blast anyone. (I hope they stick to their promise, through) Ask anything you want from which ever god you want. But do it on your own risk. Don't complain to me if you are turned into a lug or something._

 **I will be waiting for your letters. I am responsible for bringing your letters to Olympus.**

Lmao!


	2. First day letters

**917brat**

 **I would like to know if the myths we hear or read are all true or have a hint of truth to them. Like the one of Hercules drinking from Hera was why he got his strength, or the male lovers of Apollo, or Zeus for that matter? are there any truth to those stories true or have hints of truth to them?**

Dear 917brat,

Zeus: You scums...I mean mortals have made our story sound all weird. Do you think I would go around creating kids and betraying my wife Hera?!

Poseidon: *cough*

Hermes: *stares*

Hera: of course honey would never do something like that. Right?

Like Heracles, Perseus, Thalia, Jason ETC they fell from the sky.

Zeus: Haha...well some of them are...

Apollo: well what you asked about me is...kind of true.

Artemis: *flips the table* as if you weren't gross enough.

Aphrodite: love is same no matter the gender.

Hero: Anyway my dear mortal, yes most of the stories are true. Even some of them are ehhh...disturbing. But well we HAVE to do something in our spare time.

Sincerely,

OLYPMUS

 **Dear mount Olympus,**

 **I have got a question that I wish to ask to all the gods, both to those on the Olympian Council and also to any minor gods that may wish to answer:**

 **"Do/have you ever feel/felt sorry for any past mistakes you may have made as an Olympian in the past, and what would you do to change it?"**

 **Thank you for your graces' time in answering my question. It has been a great honour to speak with you all.**

 **Your most humble servant,**

 **HaxE**

Dearest Haxe,

Zeus: I like this mortal. She is soo respectful towards us.

Ares: Finally a human I don't wanna kill.

Aphrodite: Can I keep her?

Artemis: I don't think she is a dog you idiot. Though to answer your question... well...

Apollo: Do I have to like make a list.

Hermes: I don't think that much paper is available in the world.

Aphrodite: well, my regret is that when I wore that pink gown I painted my nails red and it didn't go with my dress. I regret my descision till this day. *sob*

Anthena: Seriously? The mortal is asking a really important question. I can't belive you people.

Poseidon: yeah! Yeah!

Anthena: *Ignores Poseidon" well I think the only regret we have would be to not spend time with our children.

Zeus: NO! I have never made a mistake.

*everyones laugh*

Apollo: let's just say there are too many regrets and mistakes we made in our past. But the only thing we can do is to move forward. And always look out for each other.

Artemis: *shocked* any...way I guess you have your answer.

Sincerely,

OLYPMUS.

 **Dear Hades,**

 **Why did you let Nico stay with you and not Hazel?**

 **Sincerely,**

 **A Slytherin in the Making**

Dear slytherin in the making,

Hazel doesn't want to stay with me. And I am fine with it. It's her choice after all.

*sob* who am I kidding. My daughter hates me. Why won't she love me?

I am her daddy, aren't I?

She says she has spent enough time in the underworld already. BUT I WANNA SEE MY CHILD!*sniff*

Sincerely,

A very depressed Hades!

P.s I like your name

••••••••••••

 **Dear gods and goddesses;**

 **WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE PERCY'S LIFE HARD!**

W **HY DOES HERA HAVE TO HATE ANNABETH SO MUCH?!**

 **WHY CAN'T APHRODITE DIE?!**

 **WHY WON'T THE DEMIGODS EVER HAVE PEACE?!**

 **WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE RULES THAT YOU BREAK ALL THE TIME (AKA the Big Three pact)?!**

 **Thank you for your consideration.**

 **Sincerely,**

 **Fox**

Dear fox,

Zeus: HOW DARE YOU MORTAL CHALLENGE OUR DESCISION. WE SHALL MAKE SUFFER PERCY JACKSON TILL HE DIE.

Poseidon: What did you say? You over grown leech.

Zeus: YOU DARE CALL ME LEECH!

Poseidon: I will not allow you to hurt my child...what is wrong with Aphrodite?

Apollo: Dude, she is turning all purple.

Aphrodite: HOW COULD SHE SAY THAT I NEED TO DIE? I AM THE MOST PERFECT, BEAUTIFUL, ASTOUNDING AND EXTREMLY FABULOUS. I CANT DIE. I WILL NEVER DIE. I AM GONNA MAKE YOU A SLUG.

Anthena: you know I agree with her!

Artemis: She will make a good huntress. She has taste.

Hermes: Haha!

Apollo: Anyway, the answer to your second last question is that 'no'. What's the fun in that?

Anthena: How is watching your children die in the most agonizimg way is fun.

Hera: I think Apollo is right.

"Dinosys: well you haven't answered your question. About that girl Annabelle.

Hera: well isn't that obvious she is a smart bitch like someone else in the room.

*Anthena rolls her eyes*

Zeus: well that answer all the question. And let's blast this girl.

Artemis: we promised not to blast any mortals to bits.

Everyone: Awwwww...that's no fun.

Sincerely

OLYPMUS

P.s: Zeus: I ignored your question about the three big pact because I really don't want to kill you and cut you in smal pieces and through you in hell.

DONT EVER TALK ABOUT IT AGAIN! I have a reputation. Don't wanna disturb it by bringing my small mistake up.


	3. Second days letter

**Dear Gods and Godesses,**

 **Have you ever met the Norse gods or the Egyptian gods?**

 **Sincerly,**

 **thesupersonicmoose**

Dear supersonicmoose,

Zeus: How in the world you know about them?

Hermes: wasn't it supposed to be a big secret or something.

Apollo: Damn, mortal are smart these days.

Anthena: Anyway, we are not allowed to meet each other. The ancient rules forbid us.

Apollo: though I am sure they have hotter godness.

Artemis: Can you please...just shut up!

 **Dear Zeus,**

 **Why do the words: Zeus Cheated On Hera Again, summarize over 50% of Greek Mythology?**

 **Sincerely,**

 **A Slytherin In The Making**

To a slytherin In The Making,

Apollo: Look who we have here.

Hermes: Finally someone said something logical.

Hera: Well...I can't deny this. And the ironic fact that I am a godness of marriage.

Zeus: *gulp* Honey, we have been through this.

Hera: wow! I feel like strangling you.

Poseidon: please do that!

Artemis: My father is soo gross.

Zeus: How dare you call me...

Hermes: Dude, chill!

Zeus: YOU DARE TELL ME TO CHILL!

Apollo: He is soo dramatic! Why do women even like him.

Hera: *nods*

 **Kveykvagarm**

 **lol.. so of Kyogre raised the sea in the weather trio, Raqyzua keeps the peace and lives in the ozone layer, then who do u think Groudon relates to since he fought Kyogre to expand land? Also mercury... get gun boots already, u know the kind that kicks out energy to blast enemies**

To kveykvagram,

Anthena: ...

Zeus: WHAT IS THIS MORTAL BABLING ABOUT?!

Apollo: She needs to lay off the drugs.

Hermes: I can't understand this.

Apollo: I think it's a trick question.

Aphrodite: My mind is going to explode.

Artemis: *wide eyed* Seriously, you HAVE a brain.

Anthena: *cough* Anyway I donot understand this. Maybe it's her way of knowing our intelligence capacity or it is one of the ancient tale of the old...

Poseidon: In other words you don't have a clue.

Anthena: *glares*

Poseidon: Thought soo!

Hephaestus: Humans have gotten so much...

Apollo: Weirder.

Anthena: I think I am gonna go and lay down!

 **917brat**

dear gods that could so very easily smite us if we ask the wrong thing...me and my **sister are have a rather silly argument, but I figure asking you and getting your answer would make it so it was done, after all you can't argue with the decision of a god now can you...at least not aloud you can't. Anyway, what I and my sister are arguing about is a some of the YouTube videos we watch, called princess rap battles, what do you guys think of them, and who you think won. Particularly these two.**

 **watch?vgcrQvoCzs80**

 **(snow white vs Elsa)**

 **watch?vVeZXQf77hhk**

( **Cinderella** vs **Belle** )

To 917brat,

Apollo: Disney princess... I don't really like them.

Anthena: I have watched these already. I think it's a piece of art.

Poseidon: what?

Hermes: They are good. I just watched them.

Artemis: I like the Snow White and Elsa one better.

Aphrodite: I hate Elsa.

Anthena: Is it because of her being a independent women with no boys.

Aphrodite: Exactly!

Hermes: we should ask uncle Hades, he really like Disney princess.

*silence*

Hermes: oh shit... that was a secret.

Zeus: WHAT THE HELL...

Hera: Pipe down your volume. Anyway, in my opinion both of the videos were good. Much better than Apollos one.

Apollo: Hey!

Zeus: let the voting begins

Hermes: Hmmm... 6 for Elsa vs snow queen and five for Cinderella and Bella.

Artemis: And so now we know the winner.

zeus: Now punch your sister if she doesn't agree with our result.

Dear Olympians and Hades,

 **How can I go on quest when I'm a mortal? And Hades did you know that Nico had a crush on Percy? Artemis can you come and find me so that I can join your hunters, please? And no offense butt Artemis, Hestia,and Athena are my favorite female Olympians, because two of them don't go around having children. The other one I respect for her wisdom and strategies. My favorite guy Olympians are the ones that I would get along with the most which are Poseidon, Hades, and Hermes and they actually show that they love their kids. Thank you for reading my letter and taking out your most precious time for me. For all the gods and goddesses that I have offended I am willing to do quest for you to make up for it.**

 **Sincerely yours- ArtemisGoddessOfTheHunt**

To ArtemisGoddessOfTheHunt

Zeus: what is wrong with her. Why is she asking soo many question.

Hera: I guess she is too excited.

Artemis: I like her!

Anthena: to answer your question mortal. No you cannot go on a quest if you are a mortal.

Hades: Yes Yes FUCKING YES. I know my son is in love with that hero. Why you have to remind me.

Poseidon: lol!

Artemis: I don't take mortal into my hunt. They are too fragile.

And thank you for liking me.

Anthena: Ha! Take that Aphrodite. She didn't choose you.

Aphrodite: *cries* I can't beielive a human would not like me.

Apollo: why she doesn't like me! I am like soo awesome.

Poseidon: HAHAHHAHA TAKE THAT ZEUS. SEE THAT HUMAN LIKES ME AND NOT YOU. BWAHAHAH.

Hades: I must admit I am really happy. I have been chosen over Zeus. I just...*cries*

Hermes: Well, I am used to being loved by everyone soo yeah.

Zeus: You three are trash.

Poseidon: yeah, but definately beyter trash than you.

Hades: BURN!

Apollo: maybe I should give her a deadly quest.

Anthena: Did I just say in French that no mortal can go on a quest.

Everyone: Oh, come on!

Zeus: well now I am gonna go and cry in a corner. Excuse me!


	4. Chapter 4

**NO GUYS I WAS NOT DEAD ^^ I WAS CAUGHT UP IN KPOP WAVE AND STILL AM (life is hard) anyway I am still accepting letter. ^•^ Sorry once again ^^ I will try my best to update**

 **Hades: No NoT today!**

 **Me: shut up!**

 _ **BrokenMockingjay**_

 _ **My letter:**_

 _ **Hi ppl.**_

 _ **Why do ppl h8 Zeus? Why do ppl ship Everlark and Everthorne? Why can't ppl accept Catoniss is the best? Athena why don't u just marry Poseidon? Can any of u please send me to the THG world?**_

 _ **Thxs alot.**_

 _ **Ash**_

To Ash,

Zeus: Wait...people HATE me?

Athena: MARRY?! THIS LEECH LIKE FACE? I AM OFFENDED!

Poseidon: EWWWWW *pukes*

Aphrodite: Everlark and Everthrone are made for each other.

Artemis: And why is that?

Aphrodite: Both of there name starts with E!

Hermes: That...makes sense.

Apollo: Nope, we can't send you to any world.

Hades: Except for underworld. It's a sweet place~

Anthena: *stares*

Hades: A little sweet?

Hermes: *stares*

Hades: okay fine it's not sweet!

Poseidon: you k ow her question is still making me... *puke*.

Zeus: WHO HATES ME! TELL ME AND I SHALL SLAUGHTER HIM!

Poseidon: *looks at zeus* *pukes*

Everyone: *groans* someone kick him out!

Sincerely

Olympus

 **Winry88**

 **YumisetsunaDaughterOfPoseidon88**

 **Hi If I Could Ask You Guys One Question... If Zeus Is King Of The Gods Then Why Can't He Change The Ancient Law That States An Immortal Cannot Visit They're Kids? Is It Just An Excuse To Be A Deadbeat Dad? Ps My Favorite Gods And Goddesses Are Poseidon Hades Hermes Dionysus And Athena Artemis Hestia And I Guess Aphrodite Too Oh And Eros And Also Thanatos Thank You For Your Most Gracious And Humble Offer My Lords And Lady's And I Hope You Will Not Be Offended Except Zeus He's An Assface!**

TO

Whoever this child is!

Zeus: LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE MOTHER-

Hera: LANGUAGE!

Poseidon: She sounds like a good person.

Anthena: *sighs* if only Zeus could change the rules. They are made by the fayes. We cannot change them.

Zeus: I AM GOING TO-

Hera: BE QUIET!

Zeus: *sulking*

Sincerely

Olympus

 **Uncontrolled Legion**

 **Hades what do you think of Will Solace and Solangelo? Thantos would you ever have a demigod child? Artemis is the best female goddess (sorry Athena but your 2nd place, then... actually besides Aphrodie that's the only goddess' I have off the top of my head) and I wish she liked guys, also Apollo is not as cool as you are. And Posiedon and Zues why you no love your bro Hades. He should be given more love from you guys. Also dear everyone why did you not love your children as much until Perfy made you claim all of them (sorry Hades but I still slightly ship Pernico and I'm sorry that people make fanfictions of you and Percy, Artemis I don't ship Partemis. And p.s. Zues sucks and smells like Apollo's underpants after they've gone through tarturis. *snickers uncontrolably***

To

Uncontrolled Legion

Artemis: Finally someone who doesn't ship me with that sea spawn.

Hades: I DONT LIKE WILL OR PERCY! I SHALL BLAST YOU OF YOU SHIPED MY SON WITH THEM!

Apollo: *flips hair* what is being not cool? I don't know this term.

Artemis: I feel honoured to be your favourite goddness.

Aphrodite: SUCKER ANTHENA!

Anthena: shut up!

Zeus: I DONOT SMELL LIKE APOLLOS...

Hermes: don't even try to lie. You know you do!

Zeus: But...I...I...

Poseidon: someone finally says the truth.

SINCERELY

OLYPMUS

P.s Thanatos is gay

 **Dear Olympians,**

 **Why is Zeus such a drama queen?**

 **Sincerely** ,

 **A Slytherin In The Making**

VERY UN-DEER

A Slytherin In The Making

Zeus: WHY ARE YOU BORN?

WHY ARE YOU SUCH A BAG OF SHIT?

WHY DO YOU BREATH?

WHY DO YOU WEAR UNDERWEAR?

WHY DO YOU READ?

Poseidon: wait what?

Zeus: I AM NOT A DRAMA QUEEN! I AM A MAN!

I AM THE DRAMA KING!

Hera: *face palm* oh boy!

Anthena: I am just...speechless.

Sincerely

Zeus and his servants

 **Kveykvagarm**

 **is on YouTube silly... and Mercury is based off of Hermes except that he prefers to kill by kicking u in the face with and iron clad boot that also works as a gun, the character Neptune from RWBY is afraid of water and has an electric gun that also transforms into a spear and triton**

DEAR

Kveykvagarm

Zeus: That was nice of you to tell us but...WE DONT CARE!

Hermes: I like this version of me!

Poseidon: meee? Afraid of water? Yeah right!

Anthena: Humans are getting weirder.

Apollo: I LOVE POKEMON! PIKAAAA-CHUUUU

Artemis: Shut up!

Zeus: Why are we even answer this insolent fool!

Ares: LETS KILL HER!

Aphrodite: we can't! We promised. Kinda!

Sincerely

OLYPMUS

 **Thatchickendude**

 **Dear Gods and godeses of Olympus,**

 **Hermes can run from New York to Florida in an hour. What can travel the same distance and get their before Hermes does?**

 **(Answer: the road!)**

 **NO regrets!**

To

Thatchickendude

Anthena: Were we supposed to laugh?

Hermes: Wait a minute! Road can travel faster than me? I have to destroy every road now.

Poseidon: great! I don't like roads much.

Anthena: Guys it was just a lame joke chill

Hermes: But if the road is faster than me...

Apollo: You can just...i song know transport?

Hermes: *gasp* you are right! GOSH Apollo I didn't k ow you were smart.

Anthena and Artemis: BOYS!

Sincerely

OLYMPUS

 _*after reading further*_

 **Dear gods and godeses of Olympus,**

 **Greetings and salutations!... you know what you this question is really boring. It needs more pizzazz! More drama! More adventure! More action! More shippings(winks at Aphrodite)! More...(grins evilly) MORE DEMETER FLAKES! Demeter we need cereal pronto!**

 **No regrets!**

Zeus: WHAT IS THIS?

Demeter: I LIKE THIS CHILD!

Aphrodite: Me too!

Poseidon: *blinks* she has gone crazy.

Anthena: RIP

Artemis: what is she is saying...my head hurts.

Dinosis: I am sure she is just drunk. *whispers* let's of ore her!

Sincerely

A VERY DISTURBED OLYPMUS.


End file.
